Are Save The Dates Worth the Cost?

If you are an engaged couple you are likely asking yourself: "What is the point of a Save the Date?" As the name implies, sure, you are giving your guests some notice. However, practically, it's an added mailing that takes time and money to execute. So... are Save the Dates worth the Cost?

In a perfect world - yes. 

Here's what I mean by a perfect world. You have been proposed to 8-12+ months before your wedding date. You spend the first 1-3 months diligently wedding planning. You set your top priorities, sit together with family to set a budget, find many viable venues, and thoughtfully book your date. Now you set your sites on a few key vendors (you scoop up that dream photographer before they book out). That dream photographer's package includes an engagement shoot that you happily accomplish. By the way, you have seamlessly found and ordered your PERFECT once in a lifetime wedding dress, it's being handmaid as we speak. 

With 6+ months still to go, somehow, you are sitting pretty with a website, a registry, engagement photos burning a hole in your pocket (you can't wait to post them). And most important (and most unrealistically), you have a perfectly organized guest list built to easily mail merge into a Save the Date. All the mailing addresses are filled in and there are NO spelling errors or question marks about who should be invited. 

In this dream scenario (which very few couples can achieve), a Save the Date, is a GREAT use of a few hundred dollars. Not only will it give your guests ample warning to set the date on their calendar, more importantly, it begins to stoke guest excitement to your event. Like a well timed teaser trailer before a film premiere, a Save the Date gives guests a glimpse into your fantastic event that is beginning to take shape. There's an air that you are totally on top of your event, and that they as a guest, need only research a few hotels you recommend and rest assured this is a wedding that will be a wonderful use of thier time and money to travel to. They hang your Save the Date on the fridge, they feel excited about your event every time they look at it. 

Let's Talk About Save the Dates (FTROU) For the Rest of Us. 

1) Short Engagements: If you have a short engagement (1-6 months), skip save the dates (obviously). You will only have time for 1 mailing. Instead opt to send invitations 2-4 months ahead of your event if you can. This way guests can still book travel before prices get too high.  

2) When planning is taking longer to get your event to a good place, you may also wish to wait to release information until the invitation. This is great too. You had a long engagement but planning wise, you needed to take extra time to get it sorted and now there are only a few months left. Just send one mailing as well.

If you are on the cusp, with some info organized, and some time left, know that all you really need to know for sure in order to send a Save the Date is your date. Listed on a save the date most commonly is :

• The names of the couple getting married (I prefer first AND last names btw)
• Verbiage that you are getting married 
• The date of the wedding 
• The town of the wedding (you can list your venue name if you prefer)

Compare this to an invitation that includes:

• The names of the hosts as well as the couple getting married (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter Andria Smith & Jacob Fisher, together with Mr and Mrs. Sam Fisher) OR ("Together with their families, we invite you to the wedding of: Andria Smith & Jacob Fisher)
• Verbiage that you are invited: (you are cordially invited to the wedding of: please join us for the wedding of..."
• The Date of the Wedding 
• The Time of the Ceremony 
• The Venue Name and Address (separate card for directions may be needed)
• RSVP deadline and how to reply (this can be a separate card enclosed as well). 
• Dress Code (optional) 

Separate cards may also be included in the mailing to announce other events throughout the weekend or other information that requires more space to explain (examples are shuttle information or travel information). 

But Dani C... What about the Website?

Website links are optional, especially on Save the Dates. Here's a few ways to tackle whether or not to include it. 

• Option 1: Include it on both mailings. Take the extra time to build out your website with gallery of images, story of how you met, details about the event, travel recommendations, and registry. Include the link on both the Save the Date and Invitation mailings. 
• Option 2: Skip the link in the Save the Date and send the mailing without information about the website. Your Save the Date can simply say "more information to follow" or "invitation to follow." In that Invitation mailing provide the website link. 
• Option 3: Build the website to the best of your ability leaving "coming soon" sections on the site for areas you don't have answers to. 

My vote: If you are sitting pretty with time on your side, take the time to set details in stone enough to have a "mostly" filled in website. Guests like to check the travel section when they receive the Save the Date. They VERY RARLY book anything, but knowing there are reasonably priced flights and accommodations is a helpful feeling to give guests as they explore how coming to your wedding might work for them. 

If you don't have the time to fill in travel sections and key areas of your website, my vote is usually to skip it for the first mailing. I think "coming soon" sections are a little tacky. A Save the Date can be just that, a small invitation to reserve your date onto the guest's calendar. No further information is needed unless your event requires international travel. If this is the case for only a few of your guests, you can always give those guests special information. 

Final Thoughts on Save the Dates:

Even though it's tricky to accomplish the planning needed to get an event to a point ready for you to release that "teaser trailer" of a Save the Date, in enough time that sending two mailings is worth the time, money and trouble, there is a world where I recommend doing it. 

If you find yourself with 5-8+ months to spare and you have your date and your guest list, with or without a website, I may recommend that you send a Save the Date. More importantly, I like to tell guests to step back and think about their event from the guest perspective. Let's say your event is in 5 months from right now. You have everything in place to send Save the Dates but you aren't sure it's going to be worth it. A guest could just as easily get that excitement and information from an invitation mailed 3.5-4 months before your event. I would probably tell that couple to wait and spend their time prepping the invitation. 

That same couple with 5 months to go, let's say their event is struggling to take shape. They know their invitation won't be mailed until closer to the event because so many details are still being worked out. But they have the venue, and they have the date. I actually think forcing themselves to organize their guest list and do a practice run of a very simple Save the Date, is a great use of time. It gets their guests off their back a little with the verbiage "invitation to follow," it forces the couple to organize their guest list and complete a mailing. The invitations (if they use the same process or site), is going to go smoothly in a few months when they go to build it. 

So like many items in Wedding World, Save the Dates may feel like just one more task that isn't really needed. I have to agree that it's optional. If it makes more sense for your time to be devoted to that more detailed mailing, the Invitation, then do that instead. You can even mail invitations a little early giving guests the invites up to 4 months ahead of the date. 

If you can time your mailings to work BOTH with the progress of your planning, AND in a way that drips information to guests throughout your engagement, you are doing that impossible balance. If, however Pinterest is tempting you because something is cute, but it makes no sense for your event, skip it, and focus on the details of your event, and on your invitation.